Networking

"...There were different stages to my mental distress and initially I can liken it to falling into an abyss. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. Nothing prepared me for the sheer terror of it. My breakdown was sudden, intense, dramatic and very painful. I literally screamed in terror. All this must have been very disturbing for my family, and particularly, my younger siblings. I was a liability, an embarrassment as I would scream anywhere and at any given time, which at the beginning was most of the time. Mine was the manic variety of depression, rather than an over-whelming tiredness to the bone marrow. I was only a mere 6 stone in weight and could not gain weight. I walked, bent over, like an old woman (in fact, I felt ancient). All this and with my unkempt appearance and terrified demeanor must have been quite frightening for my peers to see when they visited me. My bubbley and out-going personality had meant I was popular and good friends found it difficult to equate my new experience with their old perception of me. Most, told me later, had been so shocked by my transformation that they went home and cried afterwards, but tried to keep it together in my company. I really learnt that I had good friends during this difficult stage in my life..." by GRAINNE HUMPHRYS

This is a short citation from a blog entry I read recently at http://bipolarblast.wordpress.com
Worth to read it, it deeply touched me. And at the same time I started envying this woman for such a wonderful family and friends. Something I don't have. Well, I guess, people around me don't know or don't want to know much about conditions/personality I have or/and alternative methods for personality development.Far from accusing anyone!!! We are all walking in the same darkness, right? Just some of us have bigger and better torch.
On the other hand I must admit it is extremely difficult for others to understand such a behaviour I have time to time. Running away, isolating myself, cutting off connections - they take it personal, and turn away. I can understand it.
Finding other connections is difficult. I put myself into an extremely difficult situation when I moved from my native country to another one. I'm hoping to be taken to those with similar experiences by my guardian angels: Hope, Time and Love.